A stop at the Punakaiki rocks allowed plenty of time for everyone to have a good walk around these amazing formations before we got set for our own ‘scooter formation ride’ past for all the Bikies catching up on their coffee fix in the roadside Café. A bit of a laugh and plenty of cheers from the leather clad crew, most of whom would be seeing us on-track later in the day.

Heading south from Punakaiki the road twisted and turned along the coast, offering up fantastic views along the way.
Even though we only had a short excursion onto a gravel road, everyone was enjoying the route and, I think, looking forward to a well earned rest.
The incident of the hairy-arsed hooligans provided light entertainment for us, but I’m guessing a little trouble for someone else as 3 Police cars, sirens on and lights flashing, were soon spotted heading in their direction.

At 2.3km short of (according to Mordors GPS), and within sight of Greymouth, the support team were pulled over and unloading john’s ‘sweet FA 50’ and ‘Mr Business’ Bryan’s ‘Jaffa’ for the final leg into town. As the rest of the crew pulled in, we heard over the radio “Caroline’s scooter is dead, we’re going to trailer it!”.
Looking back, we could see a scooter and 4WD pulled over to the side. That’s not Caroline, that’s Leah!
A few of us scooted back to find a dead scooter and a slightly (read: highly) agitated Leah. “She got pretty hot and now she’s just dead, I can’t believe it!”. A quick removal of the spark plug showed a distinct lack of compression (one of the things required to make an engine work).

Within sight of our final destination and suddenly two dead scooters! AND it was on the shortest day with almost no off-road! What were the frikin odds?
While weighing the options on what to do with Leah’s scooter, ‘Whippet’ roared on up her somewhat 2nd hand beast “long live the DJ!” After nursing the muffler for the past two days, the header on the exhaust had broken off completely and despite not having a back-up toolbox available, she had managed to scrounge up two hose clips and a short length of metal with which she re-attached the exhaust well enough for the home stretch. Damn that girl is determined.
She may be a Military Helicopter designing Engineer from Ireland, currently living in Aussie, but she knows what a piece of No. 8 wire is!

In another display of sheer bloody minded determination, Leah decided she was going to arrive into Greymouth with her scooter NO MATTER WHAT and promptly started pushing towards the distant roar of race bikes.
Being of sliiiightly smaller stature, fully loaded with riding gear and pushing one of the heaviest scooters of the trip, this was a humbling display, but not one the rest of the pack were going to accept lightly.
Photographer Stephen jumped onto my scoot, Leah and I jumped onto hers, and with a t-shirt tied to the carrier of ‘Ponch’s’ mount, we managed an arm-stretching, scooter wobbling tow into town.
In fact, in the course of finding the track entrance, we ended up circling most of Greymouth and reaching speeds 40km/hour before we managed to gather at the emergency access. (Note: that final tow in along the main highway with cars and trucks passing and a tiny front wheel threatening to tuck under at any second, rates as the scariest moment in 2 Scooter Survivor trips!)

Then, with a big announcement, a running commentary by Lex on the PA and a safety car leading, we raced onto the track like a pack of angry bees.
Somehow Leah’s scooter had managed to start, but it was simply the final death throes, as 30m onto the track, it pinged it’s last ping and expired. A following ‘Sacka’ offered up his scooter and Leah was off again, good on ya Neil, as the coaster would say, “that man’s a bloody good bastard”.
Two laps, with the track record under no threat whatsoever and we were directed into our own parking space… and Survivor Scooter 2011 was over.

A re-group back at the campground was followed by an exodus to the beach for a few bears and to watch the sun set over the Tasman Sea.
After riding much of the trip on a borrowed scooter, John ‘Two Scooters’ felt the need to show the FA was still a capable off-roader and attempted to ride onto the beach via a short steep drop. The drop won and John managed a very graceful trip over the bars, to land head first into the (luckily) long grass. He’s quite intelligent and a bit of deep thinker is John, but in this case, giving in to natural reflexes might have been the better option in avoiding a little spilt blood. Did I mention he wasn’t wearing a helmet?.

Dinner at a local pub, just in time to watch the All Blacks, put on the most stressful game I have watched in some time, but at the end of the day, we came through victorious with the World Cup!. A great way to finish a great trip!

The days special challenge turned out to be another popular one. The Ewing Poultry ‘care for an egg’ challenge required both riders and support drivers to choose an egg, decorate it with a suitable face and then, using the recycled materials available, mount the egg to their vehicle / Scooter with the aim of having a complete egg by days end. The face had to be visible at all times and a vote would decide the winner if there was more than one egg surviving, so ‘creative’ mounting was encouraged over ‘safety’.
With a wide range of design interpretations on display we headed into town for a re-fuel before heading off towards the Buller Gorge.
Two minutes later and we were pulled over onto the side of the Highway with Joseph (once again) on a completely dead Scooter. “No Spark! check the plug” was the call and it was a good one as the Spark Plug was now in two pieces! I had a spare in the tool box (been here before) so it was a quick easy fix, albeit parked in the ditch of the main highway under a steady rain.

The rest of the tarseal section was uneventful and we reached the turn-off at the Iron Bridge in time for a mass photo shoot. ‘Ponch’ took advantage of the traffic lights stationed at the bridge to ‘pull over’ un-suspecting tourists in aid of increasing his already substantial lead in the ‘individual charity collection’ total.

I had been checking the side rivers along the highway looking for any indication of flooding but it was looking good as we headed off once again into the wilderness, next stop, West Coast.
Most of the 4wd track in was relatively easy for the now experienced off-road Scooteratzi, with the odd patch of rutted and muddy track to keep things interesting.

Caroline’s temporary exhaust fix proved it was just that and broke once again. The mainifold bolts were tightened and a bungee cord was attached between the muffler and the back carrier. This actually proved an effective fix despite the fact that whenever the suspension was compressed, the exhaust sagged.
And while the exhaust remained fixed to the bike, it didn’t stop the excessive noise, so a new ritual was created… whenever we stopped as a group anywhere, Caroline would pull up in a cloud of noise and have to shout out “are we stopping here??” If so, she would then have to dig into one of her pockets to find her wire ‘key’ in order to short out the ignition on her scooter. Sometimes there was a high pitched curse as she managed to short the ignition to herself before silence was achieved.

Then we came to the Mackley river.
To cross the river requires heading up stream slightly so as you cross, you can angle downstream and use the current to help you. To head up river required crossing a ‘side stream’. Before everyone else arrived I made a quick crossing attempt and managed to drown the poor DJ very quickly.

“We will be carrying the Scooters across this, and the main river, but if anyone would like to demonstrate why please go ahead” was the announcement, and of course, there is always one (or in this case two).
‘Sacka’ Neil gave it the berries and looked promising until about half way across before his special, snorkel equipped scooter died with a quiet burble glug glug.
Mordor with his taller wheels and a heavier hand on the throttle fancied his chances and hit the water in his usual high speed fashion, but managed to bounce his front wheels off two large rocks before hitting the deck just as quickly!
With wounded ribs and pride, he managed to man-handle his monster scooter the rest of the way across.
Everyone else saw the sense in the more measured approach and as a group we carried the remaining scooters up to the main rivers edge.

I had actually packed straps and heavy duty truck tubes for inflating and floating the scooters across this river, but now that we were here, it seemed more in keeping with the spirit of the trip to use the natural resources available in order to surmount the challenge ahead of us (and it was so much cooler trying the “McGyver’ method).
Plenty of flood damaged trees littered the bank of the river, so a selection of branches were broken off and, in teams of four, with two on each wheel, we carried the scooters across the river.
With the depth reaching thigh level, a strong steady flow and with over 20m to cross, this river was a great challenge and really strengthened the team spirit. Everyone pitched in and pulled their weight including the girls who never asked for and never needed special treatment (although the sight of ‘Ponch stripped down to his essentials may have provided some distraction).

A short rocky climb took us to a clearing for a much needed lunch and a chance for Caroline to get under her scooter once again.
As a display of her determination to reach the end (and be the first person to complete two survivor Scooter events on a scooter), rather than ride like the mad racer I know she normally is, she chose to ride to survive by carefully picking her lines, reducing speed and avoiding bumps. Respect!

Two more small river crossing’s took us to the bottom of the days most physically demanding challenge, a long steep hill-climb, with the steepest, loosest rock filled section right at the start.
Waiting at the top of the first section, the noise of laboured two-strokes engines would slowly build until one by one, spinning and weaving across the road, each scooter would slowly make their way up and around the bend until only one remained.
With the aid of the local constabulary (Ponch), I headed down to find a hot and frustrated Joseph with his scooter once again on it’s side as he attempted to fix the shaft that engaged the starter on his transmission. With no back-up kick starter and being unable to push start his scooter due to it being an automatic, getting the electric start to engage was crucial to his ability to carry on.
Finally it roared (ha ha) into life, but while getting into position to attack the hill, it stopped suddenly. This time the spark plug had completely fallen out!

Finally we reached a summit of sorts, and although it was hard to tell as a mist rolled in from the sea, it was still nice to be here(!!) even with visibility reduced in some cases to 10m. This continued until our rest stop at the Denniston Incline for an eerie rest stop, where a great view can normally be had.

The twisty road down to sea level proved to be a hit, then we were off to the Westport Tiphead where an impromptu attempt to get as many people on one scooter resulted in 4 people covering 20m, amazingly without injury or scooter collapse (these things are usually only rated to an 80kg rider).
A few scooter issues had the party split into 3 and ‘Sacka’ spending time in the truck despite the fact that he had brought his own back-up scooter which was now being piloted by John ‘Two scooter’, (formally known as ‘Spider’). Good on ya Sacka, the ultimate sacrifice.

The group that followed 4WD Harald managed to ‘lose’ Westport (despite being on it’s outskirts), but some back-tracking and re-directions from ‘Photographer’ Steve’s phone had us re-grouping in town for a re-fuel.
We caught up with a wonderful Mother / Daughter combo on their own version of scooters who very kindly donated to the cause and we had a great conversation / photo opportunity while we waited for the stragglers.

From here it was a beautifully scenic & winding road transfer all the way through to Punakaiki, our stop for the night. On the way Russell ‘Rusty’, the dark horse of the trip for the way he just kept plowing on without complaint or drama, surprised the front running ‘racers’ by showing a clean set of heels on what turned out to be the fastest scooter of the trip! No mods, special preparation or fancy wheels, just got onto Trademe, paid his dosh and turned up for the trip.
As a late sign-up thanks to Camp Mum, both ‘Rusty’ and ‘Two Scooter’ had little idea what they were in for, had no knowledge of the planned route, but were able to take everything in their stride and come through with big smiles, epitomising the spirit of this challenge. Good on ya guy’s.

Punakaikai provided a chance to catch up mentally and physically with hot showers and a great feed and, as some members of the team would be heading out before the next evening, we decided to have the trip prize-giving.

Lawry ‘Ponch’ took out the Survivor Scooter 2011 award for his amazing efforts in personally raising over $300 during the trip for Project KPH. On his application form, Ponch had listed his occupation as ‘Adult Entertainer’ which is a possible hint as to how he managed to double any other collection total. Well done mate!

Leah ‘Tinks’ took out the ‘Riders choice’ award not only for her incredible outfit but also for the way she rode and the grit and determination she showed throughout the trip. Her determination would be displayed yet again the next day.

‘Ponch’ then took the stage as ‘Sheriff’ and metered out a range of fines for various indiscretions and managed to raise even more funds, many of which came from Josephs pocket, but pretty much covered everyone and: included lack of ability to follow, ability to get lost, crashing, hitting other scooters, even Camp Mum had to cough up for setting off the extinguisher in one of the back-up vehicles (mine, and it’s still full of white powder).
A great night had by all but not quite late enough for ‘Ponch’ or ‘Rod’ who managed to get an invite to a ‘middle age’ birthday party and turn it into an early morning!

A photo op on the beach included a Le Mans start, before heading inland for a refuel and the long climb up to ‘High Peak’ a private farm run by a real life ‘Horse Whisperer’.
With un-interupted 360 degree views, no neighbors within 2km, surrounded by beautiful countryside and doing what he loved, the owner has life pretty well sorted.
We had the opportunity to relax and enjoy his back yard and wonderful company while one of the Nelson 4WD back-up crew and photographer transport was ‘geographically challenged’ for a short while, but once we all re-grouped, it was back on the Scooters for the ride down though some overgrown grass tracks and out onto a grass airstrip for the second days challenge… Scooter Soccer. Oh dear.

As I have not been able to find internationally sanctioned rules for Scooter Soccer, I have made them up.
Scooter Soccer Rules:
Two teams riding scooters, a Swiss ball, two 20l fuel containers set 50m apart as targets, no deliberate crashing. Just need to hit the target to score using any means available to transport the ball (I love simplicity).

I chose to sit this one out and act as Ref.
Both teams lined up facing each other 50m apart, engines were revved, clouds of smoke were produced, eyes became steely, “thank god I’m only reffing” I thought as I dropped my arm and 9 tiny pistons went berserk, charging each other in an attempt to be the first to the Swiss ball (an exercise aid developed in 1963 by Aquilino Casani).
No idea how there was no mass pile up then, or at any stage of the game, but with plenty of close calls, the odd fall over, and plenty of to-ing and fro-ing, the game seemed to progress in some sort of fashion.
We started off with first to three goals wins, but after 5 mins that was cut to ‘first goal wins’.
Eventually, with a heroic dive (crash), Ponch headed the ball against the target and the game was over. Everyone was very keen to continue, but taking the role of game grinch, I announced that we had a long day ahead and needed to keep moving in order to make sure we could still get to our final destination before dark.

By now, the 4WD back-up crew were well aware of just how fast these scooters can traverse rough dirt tracks and the fun descent through the little used farm tracks was highlighted by watching the lead 4WD getting air between terra firma and the rear tyres, as Lex tried to keep from holding up the buzzing pack.

Once we re-grouped, it was a 47km jaunt on tarseal to Tapawera where we re-fuelled before turning off onto the ‘Dry weather road’ through to Kawatiri / Howard Junction for Lunch.

The second half of this road is gravel and passes through an area recently devastated by Forest fire, creating a unique environment of dust, gravel and burnt tree trunks.
During the tarseal stage, John ‘Spider’s’ lack of top end speed was highlighted and his scooter was Swapped for Neil ‘Sacka’s’ spare Scooter being faithfully transported in the back of his 4WD and driven around by his ‘eager to ride’ wife, Ann.
Once on the gravel, the huge increase in power from 3hp to 5hp obviously made itself felt as Spider managed to crash three times on the loose gravel before making it to the safety of State Highway 1 just before lunch.

Lunch at Kawatiri Junction was a chance to refuel bodies and scoots alike and also a chance for Leah to catch up with her husband, Darryl and two awesome boys, Blake and Logan, who would be joining the back-up crew for the rest of the trip and to see Mum ‘dirt bike a scooter’.
From Kawatiri Junction the convoy turned left for 4-5km before the turn-off for the major challenge of the day, the Porika Track.
After heading up the valley through farmland, the track became a proper dirt track, climbing up through beautiful native forest.
After earlier discussion with the 4WD crew about a ‘tricky’ side track, sometimes used by the hard-core 4WDer’s as a difficult alternative, we had decided that it would be too tough on the scooters, but once we pulled up to the turn-off, I couldn’t help announcing the ‘planed route’ or the ‘fun’ route!
No surprise that nearly everyone followed the ‘fun’ route, and fun was certainly had, with Caroline completely burying the front of her Scooter into the soft clay and requiring assistance from California’s finest.
The climb out was also a challenge due to the steep, dusty track and the fact that there was usually only one narrow option between the half meter deep ruts. This ensured there was plenty of pushing, spinning wheels, dust, smoke and sweat.

A little further on we reached the bush covered summit, but any relief from the riders was about to be short lived.
The hair-raising descent to the shore of Lake Rotoroa, was a long, very steep and rocky ride, and for many was probably the toughest part of the whole challenge. A Photo opportunity half way down overlooking the lake was also an opportunity to demonstrate how steep the going was.
Despite this, everyone managed to get down safely, and the shore of Lake Rotora was a fantastic spot to take a break and breath a sigh of relief.

Some time was taken out to fix the throttle on James ‘Mordor’’s Scooter Which meant he no longer had to battle on at ½ throttle (which, on a scooter is very nearly nothing at all). At the same time, Caroline ‘Whippet’ managed to break off her key in the ignition. Other keys were tried (it’s worked before!) to no avail, so off came the front cover for some ‘creative re-wiring’. The new wiring worked for starting the scooter, but as there is no kill switch, a piece of wiring had to be fashioned to ‘short’ the scooter whenever the scooter had to be turned off.

After feeding ourselves and the local sandfly population, it was off onto more gravel roads for the final leg through to Murchison. By this stage, everyone had become quite proficient at riding scooters on loose gravel roads and the challenge was no longer getting from A to B, but seeing how fast it could be achieved despite up’s and down’s, corner’s and bridges. One bridge in particular seemed to have a special attraction for Joseph who managed to over-cook the approach, slide into the spotless white barrier, and instead of bouncing back, managed to slide along the entire length of the barrier, leaving a long black mark. All this without letting up on the throttle… legend (although Joseph does seem to be getting more mention than most).

We arrived into Murchison under a dark, brooding sky in time to hit up the Caravan and Motor Home association rally for donations. Over 200 Caravans, Campers and Busses parked up in a field created quite a maze, but it was a great time to spread the word about what Project KPH are achieving.

Camp Mum Adrienne secured some great cabins at the local campground and it was a time for most to unwind, the rest to get to repairing scooters. Caroline was found virtually underneath her’s where she discovered the source of the growing noise was the exhaust attempting to abandon ship.
The main exhaust mount had completely broken off the engine and was only held on by two loose bolts. a makeshift repair was made but it was a matter of fingers crossed from here on in.

Dinner in the local Pub preceded the Australia – Wales semi-final on the big screen, with Wales not quite up to the task despite a supportive local crowd.

Lawry (Ponch), Craig (Rod) and Leah (Tinks) were already there and immediately put the rest of us to shame with an excellent display of costume creation with Ponch dressed immaculately as his namesake and sporting a ‘CHiPs styled scooter, (Hot) Rod dressed in blue and featuring a cape and Tinks dressed as… a bright pink and black AB’s supporting dirt biking punk rocker fairy princess!!! Don’t know if that quite covers it, but the photos will help.

Uniting Tinks with her matching pink and black steed for the first time was managed just in time for the local newspaper photographer to get the pic’s he was after, while the rest of us unpacked, sorted gear and made final toilet stops.
Dressed up in outfits or sporting the fluro safety vests, we made quite the group, interesting enough to attract our first donation of $10, well done that man!

A short (two page) briefing followed before we geared up for the first leg through the picturesque Queen Charlotte drive, through Havelock and onto the Pelorous bridge where we turned off for our first section of off-road.
Fears of entrants having difficulty on the loose gravel proved unfounded as everyone had no trouble disappearing into a cloud of dust and two stroke smoke.
The turn-off further up the valley onto the first proper 4wd track simply widened the smiles of the riders as they kept the throttles pinned while weaving up the hill and across streams (no bridges allowed) to Murderers Rock.
Unfortunately for two of the Scooters, keeping the throttles pinned meant lots of noise and smoke but little forward motion on the steep grade, resulting in our first two victims, Bryan ‘Mr Business’ and John ‘spider’ spending time in the back-up 4WD’s and the Scooters hitting the trailer for a short while.
Our first repairs also had to be made including Caroline ‘Whippet’s’ head-light which had removed itself from the surround and managed to hit her in the head in pointless protest over some rather rough treatment.
Onward and upward to the summit of the Mungatapu track, where the first riders to arrive were to be entertained by Joseph and his completely separated exhaust Brrrrraaaping his way up the hill and silencing the local birdsong.

Lunch at the summit included a few more running repairs and a chance to unload the two trailered scooters for the downhill run which included steep loose descents, one of which earned Joseph the title (and fine) of first crash victim of the trip.
A quick stop overlooking the lake for photos and to pass through the normally locked gate before we headed down for a re-group in Branford Park where another news photographer was waiting to snap the happy riders. In the process of getting into our ‘pose’ positions, Leah managed to create the first ‘scooter on scooter’ contact of the trip. There may have been others throughout the coming days, but the first is always the one everyone remembers!

A convoy session through town out to Tahunanui took us to our first surprise daily challenge, a kart time trial at PRO-KARTS. This involved a ‘buy-in’ donation from those that entered with the final winner having the prize pool assigned to his share of collected donations, an important prize as the eventual winner of Scooter Survivor 2011 would be assigned to the rider who collected the most during the trip.
Hot ‘Rod’ lived up to his name and possibly utilised (illegally I might add) some form of super power to remain unbeaten and take out eventual winner!
Special thanks to the team at PRO-KARTS for donating their time and effort and creating an awesome event. If you’re looking for a corporate outing, give these guy’s serious consideration!

Time was moving on and it was getting late and we still had plenty of off and on-road to cover before our first stop, so an attempt to convoy the group through to our Ruby Bay bypass turn-off was made, not without incident.
Tips for future riders, if you are unfamiliar with the route, make sure you closely follow the Scooter rider in front and not just any old cyclist who just happens to be wearing orange. Same goes for the lead support vehicle. Just because it’s a 4wd with a trailer, doesn’t make it THE lead vehicle… nuff said.

Some more grin inducing 4wd through local forestry had us emerge at Motueka where we rode into the setting sun to our nights stop at Kaiteriteri Beach. Luckily, as it was getting late and past closing time, our Camp Mum, Adrienne had sourced fish and chips for the now hungry and tired crew.

The list continues in order:

• Ponch $326.70
• Leah $87.40
• Crash $60
• Rusty $58.60
• Rod $58
• Rowdy $41
• Stephen $31.50
• Mordor $30
• Whippet $20
• Sacka $14

A fabulous effort for a total of $665.70!  Including the $44.30 worth of fines collected during our prize-giving ceremony on the last night, the grand total comes to $710.

Many amazing photos to come from Stephen….